My unsafe story started in the home, in my own home, as a child. A lot of these stories start early in the home. I was abused, and that gave me a very skewed view of the world and gave me carte blanche to behave badly because I had this skewed world-view. I allowed men to treat me badly, to abuse my body. A lot of the unsafe behaviour, the addictive behaviour, is because we were kids with trauma.
I was 12 when I had my first drink. When I was living my life with drugs and alcohol, so many unsafe experiences come to mind.
When I was drinking I “came to” in places I had no business being, with people I had no business being with, and as a direct result of being a blackout drunk, I was in trouble a lot and in many unsafe situations as a young woman, with no voice to say “No!”
The penny dropped for me 15 years ago I couldn’t do it any more. That’s where I was, versus the woman that I have become, and it’s fascinating to me. This is my second term with the Clean & Sober Pride community, and I’m so grateful for it.